You’ve Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post Vol. 1 by Blackegg: review

4/5 stars on Goodreads

You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post by Blackegg

There’s been some upset among fandom of Chinese danmei novels for the publication of this book due to negative comments about gays by the author, and many will skip it. I considered the same, even though I haven’t personally read the comments so that I could judge myself, but the premise of the book is so bizarre that I had to read it anyway. And for what it’s worth, there’s no negative attitude to gays in the book itself.

If you’re considering reading, know that this isn’t a typical BL romance heavy on angst, pining, secondary plots and anything else but the romance. This is straight up erotica, or porn even. It goes immediately to business and stays on it the whole book. It’s good porn though, so if you’re looking for that, you won’t be disappointed.

For those of you who like to skip spicy scenes, there’s an actual story too. It’s a melancholy one that makes you want to wrap your arms around the main character and squeeze him until he’s happy. Wu Xingzi lives in a remote village far from the empire’s capital, making a meagre living as a magisterial advisor, which is mainly a secretarial job. He has no family, no property, and no one who he would care for or who would care for him back. And as he’s gay—which is allowed in the empire—there haven’t been any opportunities for him for romance in his small village either. At 39, he’s lost his will to live and has bought a burial plot and has decided to end his life the day he turns 40 in a way that is least inconvenient for the villagers.

Fate intervenes in the form of a young man to whom Wu Xingzi decides to confess his feelings before he dies. The young man tells him about a society for gay men who seek life partners through pigeon post system, and since Wu Xingzi has nothing to lose, he decides to try it. To his bewilderment, when he sends introductory letters for men that he deems suitable for him, he receives pictures of their dicks in return.

For someone who’s been deprived of human contact for all his life, it’s a stunning and energising event. He immediately abandons plans for finding a life partner, or killing himself for that matter. Who would want him anyway, as he’s plain, shy, old, and has no prospects. Instead, he writes to every single member of the society to collect all their dick pictures. But one day, when he goes to collect the latest haul, one of the men shows up in person.

Guan Shanjin is a young general and a hero of the empire after pacifying the southern border. He’s beautiful beyond belief and feared by all for his bad temper. He’s also the owner of Wu Xingzi’s favourite dick. Guan Shanjin spots Wu Xingzi by chance and is stunned by how much he resembles the only person he loves, his teacher Mr. Lu. His teacher is a clever man who keeps Guan Shanjin in a leash but who has no intention of ever starting a relationship with him, not that Guan Shanjin understands it.

All the relationships Guan Shanjin has ever had are with men who look like Mr. Lu. So he takes Wu Xingzi to bed, much to the older man’s bewilderment and delight. Come morning, Wu Xingzi leaves, so as not to bother the important man he’s not worthy of, something that has never happened to Guan Shanjin before. It triggers a need in him to possess the older man, and before they know, they’ve been in a relationship for a month.

But the whole time, Wu Xingzi expects Guan Shanjin to leave, and has no intention of getting attached to the younger man, which Guan Shanjin cannot fathom, as he’s never been rejected. But when Mr. Lu calls, Guan Shanjin rushes off. Wu Xingzi thinks his life will turn back to normal, and he can return to his dick pictures, but Guan Shanjin has other ideas.

This was a good start to the story. It’s straightforward, with no secondary plots or side characters, but sad at times. Wu Xingzi is a delightful MC with his insecurities, single-minded devotion to his dick pictures, and inability to notice the powerplays of the important people around him. Guan Shanjin is brash and selfish, but his devotion to Mr. Lu, and the nice way he treats Wu Xingzi redeem him. For his part, Mr. Lu is reprehensible and I absolutely must see him get his just deserts.

I don’t often mind the translations of these books, but I raised my brows every time a part of human anatomy was described by its Latin name. Maybe it was the author’s choice too, but I found it odd, considering the book takes place in ancient China.

The ending is a bit abrupt, but it’s not a cliffhanger, just more of the same, with Mr. Lu ruining things for Wu Xingzi, not that the latter understands he’s in a fight over a man, because he doesn’t really want the man. I’m rooting for Wu Xingzi to find happiness and lord over everyone who look down at him, and I hope it’ll be with Guan Shanjin. So I may have to continue with the series, regardless of the author’s behaviour. But you won’t miss a life-changing series if you decide to skip it.